Beet Root Powder Benefits For Men

Beet Root Powder Benefits For Men

Are you ready for a wacky article involving the T.V. show, “The Office” and Beet Root Powder?

Although this article is fun and (hopefully) gives you a couple of laughs… you’ll also notice the powerful benefits of Beet Root. 



These are the chronicles of Dwight Kurt Schrute III, Beet farmer, Assistant Regional Manager at Dunder Mifflin (Scranton Branch), paper sales extraordinaire.

May 30, 2007.

Today marks day 12 of my experiment on my subordinates at Dunder Mifflin.

Considering my superior sales numbers, I asked myself… “how have I gained such success amongst my peers?”

And more importantly, “why is my co-worker’s performance lagging so much…”


I’m sure I can attribute success to my superior gene pool, high-caliber brain power…

Yet while harvesting beets on my farm two weeks ago I decided…

The answer to my profound performance in the workplace could be right under my nose…


Specifically, my daily supplementation of Beet Root powder.

In fact, beets could be the key to the Schrute superiority that Jim has been secretly desiring…

If Beet Root powder is the secret to all my success imagine what the workplace would look like if everyone took it… 

We could finally downsize the number of employees we have in favor of an unbeatable super team.

We’d be the super-soldiers of sales across the greater Northern Pennsylvania area…

Beet Root powder could solve the femininity issue that all of my subordinates clearly struggle with.

After all, Beet Root powder has powerful benefits for men.


Beets are filled with natural nitrates and natural betaine, both of which rid the body of estrogen.

Surely this is the reason I’m the alpha-male of the office.

Also, beets are high in boron, one of the rarest minerals on the planet… 

That could explain my rare personality… 

It could also explain my superior masculinity as boron has been shown to increase testosterone in men, even more so than those phony testosterone fixes at the drug store.

Numbers show the boron in Beet Root powder benefits men by increasing testosterone 28% and decreasing estrogen by 39%.


Now that I think of it, I certainly feel as though I have at least 39% less estrogen than my desk-mate, Jim.

Banking on this revelation, I carried my newly harvested beets into the kitchen of our Bed and Breakfast, placed them in a large bowl I found under the sink and crushed the beets into a fine powder.

I placed several vials next to my mountain of Beet Root powder…

Loaded the Beet Root into the vials and headed to the office early Monday morning… 

I then took every free opportunity to fill each of my coworker’s coffee mugs with 10mg of Beet Root powder when they weren’t looking… 

Like a Navy Seal, I’d snatch their mugs from off their desk, dump the Beet Root powder into their drink of choice and place it back where it originally sat.

Hour after hour, day after day I’ve recorded data to see if the Beet Root powder benefits were taking effect as I hoped.

About two days into my experiment I noticed the Beet Root powder in full swing… 

Beet Root powder benefits blood flow in the male body, opening up blood vessels to allow more oxygen in the blood stream.


This could explain why Daryl was getting stronger in the gym I started in the office building. He had more endurance too…

I’ also noticed an extra spurt of energy among both the men and women involved in my experiment… 

A common Beet Root powder benefit is good heart health, which can often be seen through energized spirits.

I observed this extra bit of enthusiasm on the Friday before our 3-day weekend.

Unfortunately, though, their sales productivity was lacking.

The only subordinate that I have yet to collect data for is Jim.

It seemed as though every time I filled his coffee mug with the powder, he’d dump it in the sink shortly after, followed by a wink in Pam’s direction…

Little does she know that he’s dumping out a supplement that could save his fleeting manhood.

Also, Phyllis’ voice has gotten deeper.

She says it’s from Laryngitis, but I know better.

I’ll continue to compile the effects of Beet Root powder on my subordinates over the next several weeks.

I’m confident I’ll see drastic improvements while still remaining the dominant male of the group…

If I notice any threats to my power in the office, I’ll simply replace the Beet Root powder with soy milk.

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